Hello,
It’s been a long day at the park/mall. Hot and humid weather. Long lines. Way too much sugar. The whining starts on the way to the car, “It’s too far. I’m tired…And it doesn’t end there.
The kids start to bicker and demand that you stop at a fast food place. The youngest child starts to cry. You’ve held it together to this point, but you can feel the tension rising and you end up saying
“Do you have any clue how much money I spent on you today?! Or “ Why are you not more appreciative ? or the comparison between what you got as a kid and what you are offering them now.
All you wanted was to spend a nice day as a family. But now all that you are thinking is
“Why can’t my kids just be thankful for what they get!?”
Before we talk about how you can change this behaviour, first we need to be curious. Exhaustion, poor diet,overstimulation,lack of connection, break in routine and so many other reasons could be (potentially) impacting your child’s un appreciative behaviour.Be willing to read between the lines, to hear what’s not being said, and assume that these things are going to have a negative impact on their behaviour and (be honest, some of these things impact your temperament too!).
Rather than pushing your kids to the brink of what they are capable of, think about your child’s needs and adjust your expectations accordingly.This might mean limiting sweet treats, making time for rest, finding a quiet spot, leaving early, or skipping certain activities.
Even if other kids their age can handle a certain situation without a meltdown, this may not be true for your child. And that’s ok.
Tell yourself that its ok to be the parent your child needs and not as per the conventional notions of being a parent .
Be grateful.
Look for opportunities to help your child be thankful and serve others. Open up your child’s worldview by volunteering at an organization, making a donation, or serving the community. Look for ways to add random acts of kindness into your family’s routine.
Or, simply keep a list of things your child is thankful for, adding to the list every night. Say “thank you” to one another. Write thank you notes as a family. You can also encourage your child to maintain a gratitude journal. Shifting the focus from “get-get-get” to gratefulness as a habit may decrease some of the complaining in other areas of your family’s life.
Be patient.
Tune into your child’s needs. Work on problem-solving and coping strategies. Evaluate your own expectations. And maybe even save the big fun events for another day!
Need more support?
If you’re ready to change the pattern in your family but aren’t sure where to start, parent coaching is a great next step. I will talk through your challenges and search for a solution that will bring peace back to your home. Learn more about parent coaching and schedule your appointment today.
Gratitude is a currency that we can mint for ourselves, and spend without fear of bankruptcy.
👌👌👌👏👏
Hello Vivien
yes i completely agree , apologies for the late reply but my site had got hacked so it was inaccesible to me
Amazing! Few aspects cannot be expressed but can be slowly inculcated. Thank you for the write-up.
Hello Riddhi
Thank you .I appreciate that you read and responded .Keep reading
I so agree with you. If half the people we know (and half of the people they know and so on…) including adults develop a sense of gratitude, we’ll be surrounded by less crazy people. I think we (including me) never thank anyone for what we have. Nice post! Thank you for bringing this up!
Gratitude!!!! We can set the ball rolling by demonstrating. Most of us are successful financially and otherwise, but we fail to thank and show gratitude Let’s start, our children will follow……