Good Humour

The stage was set

Last night Bumpy (my son) and I were watching reruns of one of our favourite shows, Modern Family. We were watching an episode where Cam had organised a Christmas lunch for the entire family which predictably didn’t go according to plan, entertaining us with a series of hilarious twists and turns. We laughed away and just as we were catching our breath, Bumpy looked up at me and said, “Ma, this could easily be our family! Our relatives are crazy but they’re nothing compared to you and Dad!” It felt like a typical filmy Bollywood moment, with him sharing his thoughts with me and making me proud.

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m usually pretty serious but can’t help having an extremely expressive face. I’ve always been able to play pretend with the kids and join in on their shenanigans, or crack the silliest jokes and then laugh at them too. It was only natural for me to use all these qualities as teachable moments with Bumpy and I soon realised that humour, play and teaching is the language of children and adults too.

Do you know?

Finding moments of joy with people is an essential part of building strong relationships with them. We, as human beings, tend to see things as more important or urgent than they actually are. For example, when someone pushes us, our first instinct is to get angry, defend ourselves and mentally start preparing ourselves for a fight. We let our anger, irritation and ego take over and we all know how that ends. Instead, why not use the power of playfulness?

It doesn’t mean that you can’t set boundaries, it just means that you’re willing to recognize and understand that a few things don’t need such a heavy hand; not everything is an emergency. This realisation and understanding helps us move forward in a positive way. Being a Parenting and Relationship Mentor, I have realised that there are many ways we can create teachable moments through fun and frolic which will leave lasting impressions.

I understand that we are all stressed beyond what we can imagine. I also understand that responding with humour when your child is expressing a big emotion isn’t always the best solution. But imagine, instead of shouting matches which end up with doors being banged shut, you can diffuse some tension with a simple smile and a hug.

One remedy for all

As adults, we can use humour in relationships with our friends, siblings, parents and our partners. Build funny moments every day and have your own fun language which can be used when the going gets tough. Like when we fight in my home, we call it the Tom and Jerry Show; or when I’m upset because of my OCD, Bumpy will say Dad be careful, she’s sharpening her claws. So in the end we need to remember our funny moments and fun language and not the reason for your temper so that you can remain calm and in control. If this doesn’t come naturally to you, that’s completely okay. Look for small ways to add a little silliness and playfulness in your day and build on it over time. Rather than doubling down, take a deep breath, lower your intensity and make it fun.

Life will always give us reasons to be upset, but it’s up to us to decide to find the humour in the situation, and overcome it with positivity. It’ll help us be less stressed and open the door for new learning opportunities. Always remember, be it kids or other people present in our life, everyone is longing for a connection with us. They need to know that we find joy in being with them.