Hello,
Lately, I have been getting lots of parents coming to me to counsel their “ SHY, INTROVERT “ child and make them extroverts. Personalities are complex, and we need to respect individual tendencies to interact in ways that are natural and comfortable. As parents, it is important to respect the uniqueness of each of our children, but we can scaffold their social development.
Keep in mind that shy kids are also self-reliant, thoughtful, intuitive, great listeners, and very empathetic. The world will likely be a gentler place because of them. Once parents recognize these natural behaviors and embrace the positive side, they can work with them instead of against them. It is possible to help a shy child learn to be more confident and comfortable around others.
Sharing below a few of my observations and learnings to help parents help their children.
1. AVOID LABELING YOUR CHILD AS “SHY.”
If people say your child is “shy,” gently correct them in front of your child. For example, “He’s not shy – he just takes a little while to get comfortable and then he’ll join in ”or she likes to think things through before rushing in.”
2. LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD IN ANY SITUATION AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO TALK ABOUT THEIR FEARS.
Let your child know that you have faith in them: “I can see you’re feeling a little worried, but I’m really confident you’ll be able to handle it.” Help your child have a positive view of self.
3. MODEL POSITIVE SOCIAL BEHAVIOR.
Children learn from watching others so show them how to act: introduce yourself to new people, be kind and outgoing, ask people for help, give compliments to friends, and thank others for their time. Take time to practice the art of confident interaction. For example, you can practice how to face someone with your whole body, look directly at them, and answer questions in a voice that the person can hear. What seems intuitive to you may not be to your child. Practice and repetition help build confidence in any social engagement.
4. NORMALISE DOUBTS
Let your child know that “everyone feels unsure from time to time.” Share some of the challenges that you have to overcome. For example, you may explain, “Sometimes I feel worried about speaking up at work, but I always make an effort and feel good afterward.”
And don’t push too hard – let your child approach situations at his own pace, not yours. Your child may stay near your side longer than you feel is necessary in public places. Even though you may feel a need to tell her to go out and mingle, her need may be to stay near your side. It is okay to give her time to feel comfortable.
5. MAKE THEM SOCIALLY INDEPENDENT:
Avoid over-comforting your child. It sends the message that you think this is a scary situation. This might accidentally reward your child’s shy behavior. Let your child know you’re confident about her ability to handle social situations. Give them the chance to speak up for themselves instead of you doing it for them.
And above all, show love and acceptance. Let her know it’s OK to feel shy at times.
These are a few key suggestions that you can use to support your child and make them feel at ease with their shyness and slowly bloom into their own unique personality with confidence and grace.
Always a pleasure reading about your experiences as a parent and of course do get in touch with me if you want any support in overcoming any behavioural challenges you are facing in your life.
Well worded, I wish this insight was available during our childhood. My school memories would have been a much better. Anyways I learnt something very valuable today, thank you for sharing.
hello Ashim
Always a pleasure to read your comments , it gives me a good boost to write more .
Lovely and crisp article Trupti
thank you deepa
Nice read..
thank you Av ..
Your insights on child behavior are very valuable. Encouraging positive behavior in children is crucial for their development.
Very well articulated 👍
hi vaibhav
thank you for reading ..hope you will continue to read and give me your valuable feedback
Thank you for sharing this lovely and insightful article on overcoming shyness in children. Your words truly resonate with me as a parent, and I appreciate your emphasis on respecting a child’s individuality and unique personality. Your suggestions on listening to our children, modeling positive social behavior, and normalizing doubts are practical and valuable. The article is a great reminder that being shy or introverted doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with our children. Instead, it highlights their strengths, such as being self-reliant, thoughtful, and empathetic.
Your work is truly inspiring, and I look forward to reading more from you in the future..
Thank you for publishing this insightful article on overcoming shyness in children.
Your words truly resonate with me as a parent, and I appreciate your emphasis on respecting a child’s individuality and unique personality.
The article is a great reminder that being shy or introverted doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with our children. Instead, it highlights their strengths, such as being self-reliant, thoughtful, and empathetic.
I look forward to reading more from you in the future.
hi tushar ,
Apologies for the super late reply . But i am glad i could make your parenting journey a little more happier and simpler than what it already is …